As I write this update, I can hardly believe that 9 months have gone by since we first held our baby girl in our arms. I still recall the knots of nervousness and anticiption as we approached the entrance of the Kaohsiung High Speed Rail Train Station to meet Holly and Ashleigh, workers from the orphanage, and our baby girl, Audrey. I could hardly contain all the emotions that I was experiencing knowing that our lives were about to completely change in sheer minutes. I knew I was smiling ear to ear and I could feel the trembling of my hands as I pulled my luggage behind me trying to keep up with my husband, Keith, who probably didn’t realize it but was walking extremely fast! He later told me he was lost in his thoughts over how to react upon meeting Audrey – wanting to completely allow his emotions to pour forth but also realizing the somewhat awkwardness of meeting our baby for the first time at a train station in a foreign country.
To be honest, what happened during the actual first moments of meeting our daughter is quite a blur in our minds. There were definitely a flurry of excited high pitched words exchanged, which I believe included ‘Oh my gosh!’ and ‘She’s so beautiful!’ and ‘I can’t believe this!’ along with many warm embraces, heartfelt smiles and what can best be described as an emotional out of body experience filled with overwhelming love and complete joy as we held Audrey for the first time. This was the culmination of years waiting on God. This was the first day of the rest of our lives together as a family. It was everything we had hoped and imagined but more. Our perfect gift from our Heavenly Father.
Fast forward 9 months to August 2013 and all I can say is how thankful we are each and everyday for this amazing little girl in our lives whom we have the privilege to call our own. She has brought so much joy, laughter and warmth in our house with her beautiful smile, funny personality, amusing sounds and sassy attitude 🙂 She has taught us many lessons of patience, grace, and unconditional love especially in those not-so-blissful parenting moments that saw us waking up for the third time in the middle of the night, taking over an hour to sit with her as she slowly ate her food, or struggling to understand her needs expressed through her only method of communication at that point – crying. But such moments have been clearly outweighed by the tremendous love and affection she has showed us with each bear hug, each kiss, and each ‘mama’ and ‘dada’ that has come out of her sweet little mouth.
God has used some truly special people in our journey as his instruments in delivering our little gift and we are deeply grateful to each and every one of them. I think of our incredible families who have been unconditionally loving and supportive of our desire to adopt from day one and who have done nothing but endlessly love on Audrey since she came into our home. I am thankful to the countless friends who have extended words of encouragement and care each and every step of our journey, especially those who provided incredibly uplifting and affirming references for our application. Of course, there are the several individuals working at both the Canadian adoption agencies and the Taiwanese orphanage who have helped us to navigate through some of the most convoluted applications and bureaucracy we have ever had to face. But there is one person who has an absolutely special place in our hearts and that is Audrey’s birthmother. I think of her every now and then with a mix of deep gratitude and loving concern of someone who doesn’t know the first thing about the other but has no doubt that what she’s been through was nothing short of life changing. I wonder about what she’s doing at particular moments in time, whether she thinks about Audrey often and how her thoughts about Audrey may change in the years to come. I wonder about our possible future encounter if Audrey decides to seek her out but I find myself at a loss in these thoughts as there are simply too many unknowns. All I know at this point is I want to say to this beautiful girl who gave birth to our baby and made the decision to give her up for adoption, I will forever be thankful. And in those inevitable times when she will think on Audrey with pain in her heart, I pray to God that He will love her, watch over her and extend to her His peace that surpasses all understanding.